Yesterday, my husband was being super nice. You know that overly nice, sweet and accommodating attitude that you just instinctively know has an alternative agenda. He brought me juice at my computer, ran one of my errands and offered to bath the kids and put them to bed: it  was a bit much all in one day. When I finally called him on it he said he was just gearing up…getting ready for Valentines Day, and the “marathon” he was planning to have.

All my usual excuses of being tired, overworked, exhausted and just not in the mood seemed to fizzle quickly as he overtly gave me his bedroom eyes. Unable to come up with any sort of refusal (how could I possibly deny or come up with an excuse good enough to trump Valentines Day?), I smiled back and happily let him continue his excitement for the evening to come.

Not that long ago, pre-kids, when we were younger and life was simpler…I remember one year cutting red foil hearts out of wrapping paper and making a trail from the front door to the bedroom. Another year I left clues and loves notes in his pockets, briefcase and car leading him to a hotel where he got the marathon he was referring to.

Equally, he has given me wonderful gifts, taken me to the local Hot Springs and even filled the tub, made dinner and gave me a massage after a night of working late on Valentines Day. Yet in the last few years the surprises have subsided and the hot nights have slightly cooled. We are no longer twenty wanting to set records or have the sex of our lives, we are more practical, more settled and more tired than any other time in our lives.

So in saying all that, how do a doting Mom and hard-working Dad bring the sizzle and spice to a night that has cute little munchkins sleeping only a few yards away?

According to buzzle.com, actions speak louder than words, so try these 5 secrets of seduction to help you show your partner how much you truly love them:

1. Flirt
This is a light-hearted seduction with the intent of conveying love! Why not send a sexy text message or email while you are at work? This reminds the other person that you are thinking about him or her. It also increases the intensity of love so that you actually look forward to seeing each other when you return home from work.

2. Candles
According to Feng Shui, the seduction candle is red and the ingredients are musk, patchouli, pine, cedar and juniper. This secret of seduction can put back the romance in your relationships. Why not fill your room with scented candles and turn off the lights just to relax in each others arms? The extra effort goes a very long way!

3. Food
It is said that “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” however this is also thought to be the secret of successful seduction of women too. Show your love by setting up a surprise dinner for two. Add flowers, soft music and incense to create a seductive love nest. Aphrodisiac foods such as oysters, chili, chocolate, figs, honey and walnuts are said to aid in the stimulation of your loved ones hormones.

4. Love Letters and Poems
Why not leave a love note for your loved one? This can be posted in the bathroom or kitchen before you leave to work. You could also leave a nice love poem under the pillow so that your partner finds this at night before bedtime or first thing in the morning. Or send a hand written love letter to their work address. This will stir up the feeling of love in the privacy of your bedroom as well as in your relationship. Inspiration can be taken from music or love poem books.

5. Get Away
There can be a lot of distractions in your relationship such as work or children. There are many short vacations available for the weekend or just for a day. You may arrange a trip to the Health Spa or a Hotel so that you are in a different environment than usual where you can both relax and concentrate on each other.

Using the five techniques above to show your significant other just how much you truly love them will certainly spice up your love life, strengthen your relationship, and keep you and your partner happy for years to come!

If you are feeling at all like me, and putting the extra energy just feels like more energy than you have, take a moment to remember a time when you didn’t make much of an effort and it ended up being a let down. Success only comes to those that make it happen, so I suppose my husbands kind efforts and loving gestures will reap the reward he is looking for.

May your Valentines be filled with love and kindness.

Standing on my Soapbox,

JB