This summer we attended a kite flying exposition where skilled professionals flew remarkable, aero-dynamic masterpieces almost effortlessly through the air. At one point six gentlemen were expertly synchronizing twelve kites, only inches apart from one another and to the epic music of Celine Dion.

As fascinated as I was with the kites, my three year old did something amazing. During the intermission they hoisted a huge box up into the air using a massive kite and dropped candy on to the anticipating children down below. It was a bit of a disaster as children had hard candy raining down on them, and then deliriously and savagely scrambled to grab as many pieces as they could. The stakes were tough as big kids shoved little kids; greedy kids ripped candy out of the hands of other kids. Heads collided, fingers were trampled on and overall, many were left crying and without any.

My son, only grabbing three pieces ran back to where I was standing, happily unscathed. Gleefully he showed me his possessions just as another girl, older than him moped back to her mom disappointed and empty handed. My son turned to her and said, “Don’t be sad, you can have some of mine”, and amazingly he gave her two of the three pieces he had.

Pride bursted from my chest as I knelt down to hug him, moved by his gesture of compassion and kindness. It was a special moment where I saw his true heart and giving spirit expertly at work.

This month as school began, my son, like so many other toddlers courageously entered a classroom for the very first time. His first day at pre-kindergarten exposed him to a group of kids he didn’t know. As he was drawing with a marker another child grabbed it out of his hand, demanding he have that color.

Of course I understand the dynamics of young children and both the other parent and I set the situation straight. Yet it made me think that this is only the beginning of many years of socialization with other children and a new understanding for different personalities and attitudes.

When we came home we spoke about manners, kindness and how to treat people at school. I explained that it is always important to be thoughtful and supportive of others; along with using good manners and being polite. I know he is only three and he has a lot to learn, but it was the beginning, and a precedent that behaving with manners is important in life. I hope he continues being the boy who gives more of what he has, than what he keeps for himself.

Standing on my soapbox,

JB

According to The Good Manners Club, at http://members.cox.net/dr.manners/month.html,

“September is national good manner month. They feel that with many schools starting off the academic year in September, what could be a more perfect time to teach the basics of good manners to young people? These important life skills enable children to get along better with classmates, teachers and family members.

The principles of respect, kindness, courtesy and thoughtfulness help them to be more aware of others and less selfish. When children learn good manners, they can feel good about themselves, too.

Knowing what to do in various circumstances makes it easier for children to deal with life, in general.

Manners are also an effective form of discipline, in and out of the classroom. Children learn socially acceptable and responsible behavior.

Teachers will note that children who possess good manners are less disruptive in class, which means that more learning can take place. As most teachers will agree, time is a precious commodity, and the less unnecessary interruptions in class correcting rude behavior, the better!

Of course, when good manners are taught, children must have role models to emulate, so what ever you do be sure to follow the rules yourself. Being a good role model is key, because children do emulate adults’ behavior.

Consistency and repetition go hand-in-hand in making manners accepted as second nature. They must be practiced all of the time.

Positive reinforcement, in the way of praise and recognition, always helps. Children will feel good about themselves when they have followed the rules.

Teaching children manners at an early age helps the behaviors to become second nature. The more they use them, the sooner they will become accustomed to treating others the way they like to be treated themselves.

Some suggestions are:
Using Please and Thank You;
Using Good Table Manners;
Cleaning Up After Yourself, which shows responsibility;
Being Courteous and Respectful;
Obeying Parents and Teachers;
Being Helpful;
Sharing – When You Should;
Avoiding Interrupting Others;
Being Truthful;
Being Kind To Others.”