Children should be seen and not heard! Thank goodness parenting for most of us has evolved beyond this outdated thinking! Certainly, this concept is not congruent with the more current parenting styles people are now practicing. Most of us want better than this for our children. Many of us grew up knowing firsthand exactly how it feels to be raised in such a way b not heard, or even seen, for who we really are. Most of us look at the mistakes from our own childhood and vow never to do the same with our own children. We commit to do it differently. Yet, do we know how? Do we know how to really see and hear our children? Do we know how to truly recognize and acknowledge them for who they are, beyond their cute curls, adorable eyes, and playful laughter? Do we know how to look past the gum in their hair or the impromptu artwork on our walls? Do we know how to hear what is underneath their crying, shouting, and temper tantrums?

I believe as parents we do know how to truly see and hear our children. I believe that we know how to do this whenever we remember to observe and listen with open eyes, ears and most importantly – with an open heart. By opening our hearts to the wonder and curiosity of who our children truly are, we offer them an invaluable gift. Through listening and watching them we are able to see more than meets the eye and hear what is not being said (but what is being shown). Our own ability to listen closely and watch intently to their laughter, will allow us to discover exactly what brings them joy and delight. Curiosity and wonder can allow us to recognize when they are upset and to understand the complexities of their hurts, fears, and tears. It is through these skills that we can look with fresh eyes at their actions and antics and realize what interests and inspires them.

Essentially, our own curiosity and wonder towards our children allow us to look deeper into the windows of their soul and see the essence of who they really are. Thus, through open-hearted wonder and genuine curiosity, we offer our children the gift of being truly loved and honored. When we really see and hear our children, they are encouraged to explore and expand further the depths of who they are. This allows them to develop a more solid sense of self along with greater levels of confidence and esteem. When we acknowledge and accept our children just as they are, we nurture and encourage the potential that exists within them! When we honor each of our children for the unique and beautiful being that they are, we give them wings and set them free to be and to become all that they can! What greater gift could we give? Children need to be seen and heard, truly loved and honored for who they are!

Some tips and ways to honor our children:
1) Be present and in the moment when we are with our children.
2) Make eye contact with our children when they are speaking.
3) Listen for the deeper feelings that are underneath their words.
4) Notice the little (and big) things that bring a smile to their face!

Shawna Owen, B.A., R.P.C, Life Coach and Registered Professional Counsellor’
To read Shawna’s bio, click here.